BROKEN.

Smoking and drinking while scribbling this down.i want to call it letter of the anonymous to the anonymous.
i know she will talk of maybe me not showing it to her that whatever we had was something to last long.
Or rather i was naive and she could no longer keep me.
its all fucked up,and its also lost.
i can never control anyone’s decision in life but just accept and brace their choices.
It was very beautiful at first,very very beautiful.
Never felt the way i did with this woman.i still ask myself how i fell for you.I think everything of mine revolved round you.
Trust me friend,there is real love but you can never find anyone reciprocating the same love you give them.
Its never 50/50 because in life there is no balance,reasons why we have social classes.
I was drowned in love but i saw everything happening how it happened.
i was prepared for it long ago,i can say.
i was detaching slowly,by the time it was here the impact was not adverse.
i know if i hadn’t,it could have taken a troll on me.am so vulnerable when it comes to anything to do with feelings.
Do you even consider my feelings when you lie?
I’ll miss you so much,,,,,,,,,all the good times shared.
i can rem how you could just climb on top of me and just rest on my chest,pure bliss♥️
Hearing you breath when i hold you,your moans,you shaking and screaming your lungs out when about to cum.
You could receive pleasure from me whole heartedly, like you badly wanted it.
I loved it when you asked for sex,but all these just changed drastically.
It was as if we both were waiting for each other to make the move.
Being treated as an option,the last option one can have.is it because i am young,or you think i am ingenious or unsophisticated?
Lies all round,secrets,blame games,playing victim,humiliations everything happened so quickly.
Everything was just confusing.Nights spent crying over someone who doesnt even think of you,someone who loves someone else.
having to deal with Anxiety and panic attacks over someone who doesn’t see your worth any more.
Someone who says she cant hide the love of their live yet she hid you,and she could call you love,and tell you how much she loves you.
You posted about it and i still didnt comment.Who poses with their friends in that manner?that was nonsensical.But i was ready for the worst and at the end of it,all hell broke loose.
no word from you,empty promises and cold treatments…………
a bigger part is concealed in my heart,cause its only the heart that knoweth the pain that words cant explain.
The heart knows the deepest wounds that words cant heal.
my heart still feels safer when you hold it,like you’re not the one that broke it.
All i ever did was love you,i didnt deserve to be punished.but i guess i’ve always been a dummy.
i never wanted us to fall off badly,but its clear you completely want nothing to do with me,you cant even stand seeing me.its so sad,it hurts.

Do these characters even exist?take this ride with me.lets tour this mind of a broken heart.

i Know and am sure she will play victim and blame me that our rltshp never worked,was it even a relationship?.

whom’s am i?

I don’t know why this rltshp was different, cause truly it was.

i don’t know why i bother and you’ve clearly chosen someone over me,she owns all your emotions and you have to give her your undivided devotion.

the times i could come to your place and just cuddle up on your seat.

And we started parting ways, Ego filled us, no one wanted to talk about anything.

Getting hurt with someone who is having fun with the love of their life.

they say, when one loves fully, even the mind cannot judge what is right and what’s not.l mean,you could have just told me earlier on what’s happening so as everything could be under control. I remember this day i asked and i was told you were just friends.

I dont see why someone should push you away as if nothing existed between you two.if at all you loved them, let them go in peace and in a nice way. Send them away. Speak up, tell them it aint working,the should try somewhere else.

i can never finish writing, but a better part of it is written.

she was once mine. She was mine for a very short time. And it was beautiful as i said earlier….very beautiful.